Discussion 4: Marriage

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We are living in interesting times, in which the definition of marriage and family are rapidly changing. For example, marriages in the US now have a 50% divorce rate, however, in the past year we have seen a dramatic focus in the role of marriage for gays and lesbians! They have won a civil rights battle to marry legally in most states and more than 50% of people (for the first time) now support gay marriage.

Below you will review a video and learn how Gottman predicts divorce in marriage. HINT- the big factor is how many nice things you say about your partner vs. mean things. Pretty simple huh? If it is so simple, why do so many of us fail? In this discussion, provide your thoughts about marriage, supporting your basic opinion with 3 supporting ideas/facts from materials below, the book, or other sources. Also, reply to those peers. Remember to avoid just agreeing with each other; challenge one another or offer insights. A great way to propel a conversation is to ask a question.

Here are some additional facts that may help you get started:

Divorce rates increased in most Western countries in the 20th century, but divorces are much more common in the U.S. than in most other countries. Marriages are much less likely to end than other romantic relationships are, but they are also less likely to last than they used to be. Several influences may underlie the big increase in American divorce:

Demanding expectations – People may expect more out of marriage than they used to.  Marriage is supposed to be play, not work, and passionate, not placid.

Women work outside the home – Both spouses now have access to money and alternative partners, and an independence hypothesis suggests that the economic freedom to divorce generally makes divorce more likely.

Gender roles are changing

1. Women are becoming more assertive and self-reliant
2. Men are doing more housework.

Western culture is more individualistic

1. Disconnected from our communities, we rely on our spouses for more social support than ever before.
2. Sex ratios are lower
3. A surplus of women encourages men to be less committed to any one partner.
4. Divorce is less shameful and easier to obtain
5. We tend to feel that a no-fault divorce is a more reasonable and more desirable response to a bad marriage than our grandparents did.
6. Cohabitation is more prevalent; cohabitation leads to less respect for marriage and increases people’s willingness to divorce.

Other ideas:

1. There are more children of divorce. Children who experience the divorce of their parents are more likely to divorce themselves when they become adults.
2. Cultural climate may support lasting marriages less effectively than it did 40 or 50 years ago.

Marriage Facts

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