Essay Structure Guide
An essay should have an opening paragraph, body paragraphs, and conclusion. The following model essays provide an example of structure. However other aspects, particularly analysis and referencing, are inadequate.
Opening Paragraph1
| Essay 1: Is popular music controlled by large recording companies? (Oshima and Hogue 2007:148-9) – 450 words | Essay 2 “Does the state hold foremost responsibility for violence in Indonesia?” (Herriman)—565 words | Essay 3 “How has globalisation affected developing countries?” (Yasser Mattar) | |
| 1. General Statement: contextualises essay. Engage with an academic position. | Since at least the 1970s social science theory has argued that mass consumption is controlled by large companies. | In recent years, there has been “an upsurge of interest in violence in Indonesia by the media, by NGOs, and by the academic world” (Colombijn and Lindblad 2002b:2). Parts of this scholarship are characterised by an assumption of the state’s responsibility for violence, and a corresponding sense that members of society are its innocent victims. | Globalisation has had an impact on various sectors of societies, especially in developing countries. |
| 2. Contention (controlling idea / thesis statement) | In this essay, I dispute this point, by demonstrating that some aspects of mass consumption and popular tastes can emerge from sub- or counter-cultures. | In this essay, I will argue that these ideas do not seem to apply to the violence I have studied in Banyuwangi, a district in East Java. | In this essay, I argue that globalisation has impacted negatively on ‘traditional’ cultures. |
| 3. Structure | I demonstrate this in relation to three popular musical genres: reggae, punk, and rap. | In the first part of this essay, I consider some of theargumentsfor the state’s responsibility for violence and points to some of the shortcomings in these arguments. In the second part, I suggest another way in which violence might be understood based on a case study of the killings of sorcerers in Banyuwangi. | The analysis will consider the effects of firstly tourism, then industrialisation, and lastly consumerism. |
| 4. Last Sentence (Optional): foreshadow conclusion or provide definitions | These examples from the ‘music industry’ demonstrate that popular culture trends can react against ‘commercialisation, and large companies are sometimes force to ‘tap in’ to rather than create mass consumption. | I conclude that the attribution of violence to the Indonesian state in the new literature requires further elaboration and argumentation, and more critical attention needs to be focused on violence initiated and perpetrated by actors in a local context. |
Background/Definition Paragraph (optional)
| Essay 1 | Essay 2 | Essay 3 | |
| Provides more context / background, definitions of analytical terms (if necessary)2 | I conducted 12 months’ fieldwork in East Java during 2000-2002, most of which was based in Tegalgaring. This village in rural Banyuwangi is located at the centre of an area of sorcerer killings. The methodology of the fieldwork in Tegalgaring was predominantly ethnographic. | Globalisation is defined as “the merging of the world into one single large-scale society” (Mattar 2006). Globalisation can be said to be composed of economic globalisation, by which foreign companies make a presence in local markets; cultural globalisation, by which cultures of various countries are fused together into a new culture; and consumerist globalisation, by which many societies consume a similar set of products. |
Body Paragraph 1
| Essay 1 | Essay 2 | Essay 3 | |
| Topic Sentence: state the topic of the paragraph | Reggae was one of the most popular musical genres of the 1970s and yet it developed independently of mass culture. | The 1965-6 massacre is evidence in one argument for state responsibility for violence. | Tourism has caused traditional cultures to be commercially exploited for tourist enjoyment and has brought destructive human traffic to areas of traditional residence. |
| Body/ Supporting sentences: Provide detail about the Topic sentence |
Reggae was born the Caribbean island of Jamaica in the 1960s and spread throughout the world in the 1970s.It developed from an Afro-Caribbean music form called mento. Some musicians changed mento into a style called ska by adding a hesitation beat (a beat which comes later than expected). Reggae was developed a few years later by reversing the roles of the instruments; guitar plays rhythm and bass plays melody. | It is claimed that the New Order was born out of a “carnage that claimed the lives of half a million to a million people” (Hüsken and de Jonge 2002b:3). However, in my fieldwork location, Tegalgaring, violence by local residents against local communist leaders (as opposed to rank-and-file) preceded the arrival of armed troops. Three local communists were killed in this manner. | As Bloggs (1999:48) demonstrates traditional rituals which previously had to be performed at specific times of the year are now performed all year round. Furthermore, the performers of these traditional dances are frequently of different ethnicities (Smith 2004:25). |
| Linking /Concluding Sentence: Link the topic of the paragraph (ie the topic sentence) back to your contention |
Clearly, from its Afro-Carribean and non-mainstream roots, reggae was created and developed outside the control of major music labels in the US and Europe. | That local people initiated the killings, without army support , and even prior to the arrival of troops, stands in contrast to the idea of state responsibility for violence | The divorcing rituals from their traditional significance which tourism is responsible for, is just one way in which globalisation has adversely affected developing countries. |
Body Paragraph 2
| Essay 1 | Essay 2 | Essay 3 | |
| Topic Sentence: state the topic of the paragraph | Punk is a style of music which reacted against the ‘commercialisation’ of previous rock forms. | Another argument pertains to the state’s alleged ‘subsistence’ on violence. | Industrialisation has also undermined traditionally-organised economies. |
| Body/ Supporting sentences: Provide detail about the Topic sentence |
The genre began in the mid-1970s. Punks felt that rock music no longer represented the counter culture from which it sprang and had, in fact, ‘sold out’ to mainstream culture. Punk songs are usually short and simple in construction, compared to longer commercial music. Its songs are anti-government, -authority, and –conformity. This is underlined by violent behaviour by fans at concerts. | It has been claimed that that “Violence not only accompanied” the state’s “birth”, but also the state also the state “subsisted continually on its exercise” (Hüsken and de Jonge 2002b:3). Even if we grant the point that violence was an important factor in establishing state control, this does not entail that state continues to rely on it. In understanding state power a more complex account of maintenance or subsistence is required (Liddle 1985). | Traditional means of production have been unable to compete with industrial productions. This has forced people involved in traditional sectors into factory work. |
| Linking /Concluding Sentence: Link the paragraph back to your contention |
Punk’s rejection of mainstream culture clearly situates this musical form in opposition to large companies | It is thus unclear whether the state in fact subsisted on violence. | As a result, industrialisation can be seen as another way in which globalisation is disturbing ways-of-life in the developing world. |
Body Paragraph3
| Essay 1 | Essay 2 | Essay 3 | |
| Topic Sentence: state the topic of the paragraph | Rap is another style of music which has stood in opposition to commercialisation. | My case study of killings of sorcerers in Banyuwangi also brings into question the state’s responsibility for violence. | Consumerism has caused people in developing nations to lose interest in their culture. |
| Body/ Supporting sentences: Provide detail about the Topic sentence |
Rap (also called hip-hop) is a type of dance music in which the lyrics are spoken rather than sung. The art of raping originated in Africa and probably travelled to the US via Jamaica. In the US, it first appeared in NYC’s black neighbourhood. Disco DJs teamed up with rappers at parties. At first the rapper merely kept the beat going by clapping while the DJ changed records. Soon, rappers added lyrics and rhymes. | The killings of sorcerers occur when local residents assume the right and responsibility for ridding the village of the threat they perceive in the ‘sorcerer’. Tellingly, the Indonesian state centre acted to counter the violence, by sending police to arrest perpetrators. However, the police were actively hindered by demonstrations against these arrests. | For example, consumption of global cultures such as hip-hop and Hollywood movies is seen as more desirable than involvement in traditional cultures. In particular, younger people are generation refuse to wear traditional clothing and speak the native language. |
| Linking /Concluding Sentence: Link the paragraph back to your contention |
Rap represented a new musical style which recording companies have attempted to control but ultimately have only been able to ‘tap in’ to. | These observations contradict the notion of state responsibility for violence. | This has serious repercussions for the maintenance or preservation of traditional cultures. |
Conclusion
| Essay 1 | Essay 2 | Essay 3 | |
| Signal end of essay | I have used the example of the’ music industry’ to argue that mass consumption is not controlled by large companies. | In conclusion, literature which attributes foremost responsibility to the state is exaggerated. | In summary, globalisation has damaged developing nations. |
| Remind readers of main points | This has been shown in relation to the musical genres of reggae, punk, and rap respectively. | The ideas that the state was responsible for the massacre of communists and that the state subsists on violence are open to question. Furthermore, the involvement of local people in violence has, as my case study demonstrated, been underestimated. | Tourism, industrialisation, and consumerism have all contributed to the demise of traditional cultures |
| Final thoughts | Styles and tastes in popular music often emerge from ‘underground’ or ‘counter’ cultures. | A more nuanced understanding of violence in Indonesia must address the involvement of members of society. | For globalisation to benefit developing nations these and other issues must be addressed. |
Essay terms:
ARGUMENT. Your essay must make an argument. An argument is a debatable contention backed up with reasons. For example, “Australia has Koalas” is not a debatable contention because everyone agrees with that. “Koalas are the national symbol” is a debatable contention and you could back it up with reasons. “Koalas are not the national symbols” is also a debatable contention and you could back it up with reasons. Whatever your contention is, make it clear by providing it in your thesis statement. Then provide a different reason to support that contention in every body paragraph.
Questions:
1 Another model for opening paragraphs, the “funnel introduction” can be seen in Oshima and Hogue (2007:151, 169-70).
2 Usually, definitions are more important for analytical terms (such as “religion” “function”) than for the things we apply these terms to (“Christianty”, “Navaho people”).
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